I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
