he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
