like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
