Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
