she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize