so that wasnt chicken after all
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
