Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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