he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
