I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
