I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize