I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
