Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
