first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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