So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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