im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
