Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize