Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
