I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
