dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
