Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
