She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
