so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
