its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
