I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
