You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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