I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
