it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
