Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
