Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How does one acquire holy water?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
