Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Found your dick twin last night
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
