She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize