Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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