i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
