I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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