I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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