Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize