Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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