I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
