i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
