Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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