Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
