They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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