I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
