shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
