what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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