Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
