so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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