im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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