Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
