Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
