You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
