I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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