I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
its not stalking. its research.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
