trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize