the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
