I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
