Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
