I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
