"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
