after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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