U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
