dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
