come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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