The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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