3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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