Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
