between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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