i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
