Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Small penises have feelings too.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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