Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
